Voluminous Million Lashes Mascara Review

          I’ll just inform you right now that this is the best mascara ever. It voluminizes just like any other Voluminous mascara, and it makes your eyelashes rather crispy. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true. I love it when my eyelashes feel crispy and not soft. Some people can’t stand that, but I love it.

Another thing I adore is the packaging. Seriously, it’s so bright and amazing that I couldn’t take a picture without the container sparkling. It’s the prettiest mascara “evar.”

          The brush is so fantabulous. It might be a little difficult to tell in this picture, but it’s very exact and easy to work with.

Front view of sexiness.

          Top lashes, looking upwards.

          Back of top lashes, looking down.

          Now that you’ve applied your mascara, you’re sure to be the hawtest dork evah with your amazingly voluminous lashes.

On a side note, yes, I do realize that my hair is totally messed up in this picture. Get over it.

Olay Age Defying Intensive Nourishing Night Cream Review

        Once upon a time, there was a night that a certain girl named Tina who looked in the mirror. She then screamed in her agonizing terror when she realized that she had DRY SKIN between her eye brows. This was the most horrifying sight she’d ever seen. Tina’s skin had always been perfect with the occasional tiny zit that could easily be covered up. In a rush for help, she texted her cousin/best friend about her dilemma who recommended that Tina use Olay Age Defying Intensive Nourishing Night Cream. As soon as possible, Tina rushed to WalMart (don’t judge) and paid TEN FREAKIN’ DOLLARS for this little itty bitty case of moisturizer.

Did it help my dry skin? Yes. At that point, I was in a beauty catastrophe and would pay anything that would help. The only thing is that I’ve never seen a tinier case of moisturizer. Perhaps you’re more experienced in the world of moisturizers and have seen smaller cases; ten dollars also might seem like nothing to you. For someone who is very cheap, that’s a lot of money for me! I’ll probably buy it again though just because I can’t imagine having dry skin. Oh, well.

        What’s funny is that this moisturizer is PINK. It’s hard to tell in the picture, but it is. I wonder if I could get it for less money if it was white…

Because this moisturizer is kinda expensive for cheapy me, I try not to use too much. Be careful with your moisturizer portions unless you want to be spending a looot of money on moisturizer. Ten dollars might not be much, but that can add up rather quickly if you’re using too much.

        As expected, the next step is to simply apply. That’s not rocket science. I just felt the need to include a picture of me putting on the moisturizer for some strange reason.

       Now that you’ve applied the moisturizer, your skin has been fantastic-fied. Don’t forget that this is a NIGHT cream. Apply it before going to sleep.

Rating: A

Glam’Eyes Mascara Rimmel London Review

             Another beauty product that my marvelous cousin Anita gave to me! I saw her use this magnificent mascara numerous times until she decided that she didn’t like it very much. Then she gave it to me because she knew that I intended on buying Glam’Eyes Mascara (Rimmel London) for five dollars at WalMart. Now she not only saved me from using five dollars but made an effort to sexy-ifying my eyes. *clap clap for Anita!*

         This product really wouldn’t be the same without the brush. It has long parts and smaller parts in order to separate and volumize your lashes. I love it because of that, and the brush is so small that it’s easier for me to navigate around my eyelashes.

This mascara is available in “brown black,” “black,” or “extreme black.” I honestly don’t see the difference in black and extreme black, but my tube of mascara is the extreme black.

        #1 image: Front view.

        #2 image: I realize this isn’t the best picture, but it was as good as I could do with my camera. Here’s the view of the mascara on my top lashes (lookin’ up).

        #3 Image: Here’s the picture of me looking down. See how my eyelashes are both volumized and separated?

        Now your eyelashes are marvelous, and you’re ready to face the world to proclaim your awesomeness!

Rating: A

ELF The Beauty Encyclopedia: Lip Edition Review

        What’s strange is that www.eyeslipsface.com (ELF) doesn’t sell this any more. It’s an amazing deal. The Beauty Encyclopedia (Lip Edition) comes with twelve lip colors, two lip gloss shades, a lip liner, and a lip brush. Of course, with my luck, I went onto www.eyeslipsface.com in search of this magnificent case of lip stuff. Then I was brought to my knees in terror when I couldn’t find it. I WANT ALL THE MAKEUP GIRLS OUT THERE TO START A PETITION FOR ELF TO PUT THIS BACK ON SALE. Because my cousin Anita is awesome, I explained to her my terrifying dilemma; and she just decides that she doesn’t use hers anymore and would give it to me.  Now I have one! (Here’s Anita’s review of this: http://anitalovesllamas.wordpress.com/?s=ELF+the+beauty+encyclopedia)

        Because I got this from Anita, the lip colors are not filled to their entirety. Also, the lip brush and lip liner is not in the case. I know; it’s horrible. I’ve heard that the lip brush isn’t that great but that the lip liner is fine.

What’s cool is that it even gives instructions on how to apply the makeup. I assume that’s because it’s a “beauty encyclopedia.” *ba-dum-ting*

        This is the lip brush that I use. It’s ELF Essential Lip Defining Brush (which is available for one dollar).  It works perfectly fine with the lip shades, and I love it.

        Here are all the shades from left to right, top to bottom. The last two are the lip gloss shades.

        (Bare lips)

        The first color, a nice shade of pink that looks really nice on me.

        It’s a little difficult to tell, but this is the second color and a hot pink color. I never liked hot pink on me, but it looks good on a lot of people.

        The third shade, a soft pink. I absolutely love this color; it’s so cute.

        The fourth shade, a nice light shade of pink.

        The fifth shade, a skin-tone color. This color just totally sexifies my skin.

        The sixth shade, a reddish color.

        The seventh color, another nice shade of pink. This one is a little more grey than the other pink colors in this set.

        The eighth shade, a nicely tones brownish color.

        The ninth shade, a nicely plum shade of red.

        The tenth shade, a nice shade of red. This isn’t as plum-colored as the ninth shade and is closer to red.

        The eleventh shade, a nice red. For some reason, my camera went all weird on this picture; and it’s a little difficult to tell just how magnificently red this lip shade is. Take my word for it; it’s a great red color.

        The twelfth shade, a nice taupe color.

         Now we begin with the two lip gloss shades! This is the first one, a nice light shade of pink. This shade might look better for blondes; I only say this because it looks amazingly great on my little sister who is a blue-eyed blonde. It’s not so “hawt” on me because I’m…not blonde.

        This lip gloss shade is a light reddish color, but it comes up as a clear shade on my lips.

Wah-lah! There you have it. The ELF Beauty Encyclopedia (Lip Edition) USED TO be available for only five dollars on eyeslipsface.com.  I honestly think that someone should start a petition for ELF to put this back on their website (not everyone has an awesome cousin who is willing to give their makeup away).

Rating: A

Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque Review

        Looking for the most epic masque you will ever find? You just found it, and my blog now has meaning. Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque is the coolest and sexiest masque “evar.” Okay, I’m lying. You look like an alien from some distant planet and anything but sexy while you’re wearing this masque. I recommend that you apply it when you’re home alone and no one can see you. Because I’m a dork, I think it’s funny how horrifying and stupid I look. If you’re my friend on Facebook, you know that there are a couple pictures of me wearing this masque. It’s just too funny to not post them. It does make your skin fantabulous though, and I absolutely love it. Whenever I get a blemish (which like never happens ’cause my skin is perfect *hairflip*), I just put some of this marvelous masque on it overnight, and it SHRINKS. Of course, I use it about once a week over my entire face; and it does help prevent blemishes.

        Now you must get started, obviously, by taking some of the masque out of the tube. I realize this might be rocket science for some of you, but you have to do it. In order to do that, you need to squeeze the bottle and let some of this magnificent green clayey stuff fall onto your hand. It looks pretty weird, but weird is good.

        Next, just apply the masque to your face. Spread it evenly and do your best to avoid your eyebrows, hair, eyes, lips, and…erm…the “inner” part of your nostrils.

Now do you see what I mean about how hawt this is? Yeah, if you’re not a freak like me, don’t apply this in public unless you want people to wonder which galaxy you came from.

The facial might sting a little, but it’s not that painful. Even if it was, beauty is pain, right?

        The bottle says to wait fifteen minutes for the masque to dry, but it always takes longer than that for me. As the masque dries, it turns from a darker green to a lighter green. This picture was taken about fifteen minutes after applying. See how there are still some dark green areas? I like to wait until the entire masque has dried, but do whatever you please. The bottle doesn’t specify on how much to apply, but it’s possible that I’m simply using too much which causes the masque to take longer to dry.

Your face might be feeling rather stiff at this point, but that’s just because the majority of the facial has hardened.

        It normally takes 20-25 minutes for the entire masque to dry – from my experience anyway. Once all the dark green has been transformed to light green, it’s time to remove it.

        Removal is so simple. Just wet a hand towel or wash cloth and gently wipe your face to get rid of the masque. It comes right off. You’ll need to wash your wash cloth/hand towel when you’re done with it because there will be a bunch of green stains in it. Just put it in the washer, and it”ll be as good as new.

        Once you’ve removed the masque, you’ll be back to your sexy self again! But don’t forget your moisturizer; that stuff can really dry up your skin.

Rating: A 

*Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque can be found for five to ten dollars at local drug stores.

Alba Coconut Milk Facial Wash Review

Alba Coconut Milk Facial Wash is definitely my favorite facial wash/cleanser.  I love it because it’s perfectly sensitive with my dry skin (my skin’s weird; it’s dry at the top and oily at the bottom), leaves your skin feeling fairly smooth, and (obviously) cleanses your skin perfectly. In addition, it’s available for ten to fifteen dollars at local drug stores. Cheap and efficient? Oh, yes.

I also love the packaging; it’s so pretty and simple. Just press down on the pump and out comes a perfect portion of cleanser. It’not messy at all, and the bottle of cleanser still looks pretty to put on your dresser for all your friends to think about how fantabulous your cleanser is (okay, maybe that’s a little exaggerated).

The cleanser is a little difficult to see considering my camera isn’t necessarily “high-tech,” but it rubs onto your face very easily, quickly absorbs, and cleanses. It also removes any facial makeup in case you ran out of makeup remover (like me).

Just rinse off the cleanser with a wash cloth, and your skin feels marvelously smooth (f0r a cleanser’s work) and ready for moisturizer (or your masque if it’s your “masque day”). Your facial makeup has been removed – no, I’m not wearing any blush or powder on that picture; and your face has been cleans-ified. Now feel special and put on some moisturizer.

Rating: A